"9-1-1, What is your emergency?"

"I don't know if it is a true emergency... My name is Lisa Clear. My husband is on a bike ride near Sandy, Oregon. He has called me from his cell phone approximately 15 times in the last 5 minutes, but the reception is so poor that I can not hear anything that he is saying. I don't know if he is having a problem with his bike or if there is a true emergency. He usually rides in the area of Ten Eych Rd, Lusted & Marmot Roads. I am going to load up my kids in the van and go look for him. Could you just have your officers in that area look out for him. He is wearing a red & yellow jersey. Riding a silver Trek bicycle. And has a white helmet..... Thanks."

Her story: I woke up both boys from their naps, loaded them into the van, and headed down Ten Eych Rd. This road winds up and down bluffs of Oregon forests, across creeks and rivers, and I am not familiar with it at all. The boys prayed for Daddy in his "emergency" and helped me look of the sides of the road for a red & yellow jersey. Finally, heading east along Marmot Rd. we passed Troy as he buzzed along on his return route. I honked my horn and pulled over to the side of the road. Troy stopped, turned around and rode back to us. He seemed suprized to see us...

His story: I'm riding about 30 mph down hill on a beautiful road with great scenic views (see another post) on sunny day when I meet Lisa driving the minivan honking her horn. "Why is she out here? Why now? She must have woke the boys up from their naps to come. Something bad must have happend." Those were my thoughts as a mashed the breaks u-turned and struggled find the right gear to climb back up the hill where the van stopped.
"Why did you call me?", Lisa asked.
"I didn't call you", I responded.
"Yes you did."
Dreaded caller id was on her side. Then she said the police were looking for me. "The Police!", I thought as I listened to Lisa's story. Then we had to decide how do you tell the police you don't need their help. Lisa decided, "You call 9-1-1 again." When she tried calling the first time without using the emergency number she was switched to the 9-1-1 operator so she might as well call direct this time.
So why did Lisa receive 15 calls from my cell phone? Because I have no business owning a cell phone. I stopped at the turn around of my ride and took out the phone to see if there was a signal. Good old Cingular had 5 bars as I stood on the bridge over the Sandy river. In order to see the bars I had to leave the "screen saver background picture". The menu that I went to was the address book that just happens to start with "aaa home". I decided that I didn't need to waste money calling home so I stuffed the phone back into my saddle bag (WITHOUT LOCKING THE KEYPAD) and started riding. So instead of spending $0.50 on a quick call to home I probably spent $7.50 on calls to home that I was not aware I was making. (If you are not laughing yet you need to loosen up and enjoy life more) By the way the phone was also on vibrate alert so when Lisa called me there was no way for me to hear the call. I don't deserve to own a phone. Plain and simple. Lisa just informed me that her phone automatically locks the keypad. Now we all know why that feature was created!
Chapter 2 - I was thinking of an alternate title for this post, "Cycling first in Oregon..." After talking to Lisa and turning down a ride in the van I proceeded on the bike. Lisa and the boys (who by the way were great throughout this event) passed me on a climb. On the decent I later caught up with the van and followed to the bottom of the river valley. Lisa headed back to town and I down shifted for the climb. Then it happened. A Clackamus county sherrif passed me on a flat section with his lights flashing, pulled over the vehicle. He and his partner walked to the rear of the vehicle and waited for me to arrive. Then the officer said "Troy, your wife asked us to come out and check on you." I thought, "Wow Lisa was right on the description she gave the police because office Baker was positive he had found me." He was very polite and his female partner just smiled from ear to ear as I told them that my wife had driven out and located me and everyone was fine. I thanked them for following up and apologized for the confusion. (I didn't mention that I don't deserve to own a cell phone, the experience had been humbling enough.) Here's something to think about. If You had been the first person in my address book you could have received 15 calls from me! Oh, one more thing. If I hear this story on Paul Harvey the blog goes OFF-LINE!...